Of brothers and text messages
by Proffesionalfangirl
Summary: texts between the two siblings! I wrote this with a friend of mine via facebook, so excuse the typos!


you did indeed, my dear Mycroft... I remember you said you watched Sherlock, so I gave it a watch and here we are! I don't know what I'd do without you!

**my dear Sherlock, I'm so glad that you hold my opinion in such high regard**

Yes, Mycroft, Your opinion is the best I've ever come across... Even better than Dr Watson's

**you're too kind, little brother :D and yours is the only opinion I value anyway**

Out of all the CIA and MI6, you only value my opinion? I say, dear Mycroft, that is most kind of you.  
>I may hide it most times, but you are the most fantastic big brother a person could hope for.<p>

**don't you remember what I said in s2 e1? That spies are being paid to tell me secrets. Of course I shan't trust them, and if I value their opinion, that also counts as trust.****  
><strong>**thank you ever so much Sherlock, and no matter how annoying you get, I promised mummy to look after you, remember?**

Ah, of course... All those spies that keep spying on Dr Watson and I.  
>If I remember correctly, I wore nothing but a bed sheet in that episode; poor John was baffled :)<p>

Well, Mycroft, you did a fine job raising me; mother would be pleased.  
>... By the way, how's that diet coming along? ;)<p>

**ha-ha, yes you did. And I know for a fact that at least one girl thought she'd been blessed. ****  
><strong>**The diet is fine, thank you. It's coming along swimmingly**

Yes, I noticed more than one girl take a sneak peek towards me. I'm not sure why, there was nothing of interest next to me at the time.  
>I think it's the cheekbones; John keeps saying it's the cheeks... and the way I pull my collar up to look...k 'cool'- I don't think I do that, but John seems to think otherwise!<p>

Really? been doing any swimming too? jogging? Any sort exercise?  
>To be honest, Mycroft, I think all the exercise you get it carrying that damn umbrella!<p>

**hehehe, definitely the cheekbones..and the coat, I believe ;)****  
><strong>**No, Sherlock, I don't do any exercise if I don't have to. As you're so fond of saying, I AM the British government. I have people to do that sort of thing for me.**

really do love the coat. When I bought it, I didn't expect it to attract so much female attention..

I am very fond of saying it, and I shall keep doing so!

Mycroft; only you could have the authority to say that and mean it; the sad thing is, brother, you probably DO have people doing exercise for you.  
>You should come and join John and I; much more exercise and running... much more fun too, I might add ;)<p>

**ah, my dear brother, but I am needed here, in my office. Saving England on a daily basis. If I took time out to run around with you and John no work would ever get done and we'd be bankrupt. Like Greece.**

Oh, but it's so much more fun, Mycroft!  
>Haven't you ever thought of doing a more physical job in the CIA? You might like it more than all the boring paper work you do.<br>Everything's much more fun when there's danger and risk involved!

Then again, I know you, Mycroft. You're not that sort of person. You're the boring type; no wonder we've never gotten along at times...  
>But I do secretly love you, my dear brother. I never show it and I'll never say it, but I do.<p>

By the by, could you go onto the CCTV and tell me where John has gone? I swear I was just talking to him, but he doesn't seem to be here. I can't message him either...  
>Thanks.<p>

**ha-ha! I suppose I would be a little boring for your tastes. And, no matter how many times I tell you that caring isn't an advantage, I shall always care for you, brother dearest. ****  
><strong>**Of course! It shan't be a problem.**

Of course paper work is boring! I don't see the enjoyment in it, Mycroft!

I still don't think caring is an advantage, but there's only a hand full of people I care enough about: John, Lestrade, Molly, Mrs. Hudson and you. That's it...

I think he mentioned something about getting some milk; but that was 4 hours ago! I'm getting rather worried.

**no, I do not just do paperwork! I get to argue daily and I really piss off torchwood**

Seems like pissing people off is in the family gene...  
>Torchwood?... Oh, yes; I've heard of them. They're all a bit of a Show off, aren't they? I swear, I could get to the bottom of their cases before they even blink...<p>

**Yes, and I know for a fact that I can. They're also a bit pissed because I'm the only part of the government that they're not above. Snotty nosed gits.**

Yeah, that's right, brother! No one is allowed above you... Except for me of course... Well, I'm not really allowed, I just let myself to be ;)  
>Most of Torchwood are all stuck up gits. I met this nice fellow once... Ianto I believe his name was; made a superb cup of tea, but his head was so far up his own arse... pompous twit.<p>

**yes, I do agree with you- Ianto is the most...human out of the lot of them. He died, if you didn't know, in some classified 456 thing. It really was a dreadful business. But then again, they're all dead now, with he exception of the welsh bitch and the immortal**

I've only met Ianto and... Jack. I've only heard of the others... He died? It's always sad to hear when someone dies, but as Moriarty put it, it's what people do...  
>The Welsh bitch is still alive? I never liked her. There's something about her I just don't like...<br>Oh yes! I met Jack! The one who can't die. The biggest mystery I've ever faced... He flirted with me on many occasions.. Jack said he needed a Doctor, so I said John was a Doctor; but apparently he wasn't the right doctor... I do hope he didn't mean a prostate doctor; that would have been awkward for all of us...

**yes, I'm afraid that the welsh sheep-shagger is still breathing. However, I can soon put an end to that. Yes, I know to whom that gay man is referencing. He probably gets his prostate looked at often enough, though I wouldn't know if any of them are doctors**

Well, you DO have the power and authority to 'put an end' to her...

As disturbing as that may be; it is probably true... I'm sure he'd practically shag anything that moves...  
>I just don't see the point in relationships and sex; they're all a waste of time. It's never an advantage...<p>

**well, it depends where you want to go, my dear Sherlock. That's the part of life you've never understood- and why daddy preferred me- manipulation, my dear.**

Father liked you best? Please, Mycroft! Don't be so childish.  
>Father only prefers you best because you take away all the speeding tickets and fines he gets!<br>And, if you haven't noticed, I choose not to have a relationship and I'd like it to stay that way; No woman or man could ever manipulate get me to think otherwise.  
>At least Mother prefers me. YOU'RE the one who upset her!<p>

**as I was saying, father DID prefer me. He's dead now, if you don't remember. And yes, mummy always did prefer you, because she took pity on you I suppose, but that still doesn't excuse the fact that you've never been able to manipulate people**

Oh yes, that's right. I seemed to have deleted a lot of Father from my memory - Not important.  
>And as for Mother, whether she pities me or not does not concern me. I'm just glad she prefers me over you for any reason!<br>Anyway, I have better ...things to do than worry about what my family thinks of me.

I can manipulate people, Mycroft! Granted, I might need some help from the 'borrowed' cards from your pocket, but I can do just as much as you can -and more.  
>I bet if you weren't in the government, you'd be a right mess!<p>

**yes, I have to agree. That man was only good for two things. And even then he mucked up the second- you and I.  
>I never thought you'd be one for pity, brother dearest, and as for your ability to 'manipulate' people, I find it laughable, that you think you can manipulate people <strong>**t you think you can manipulate people. You didn't even know about the solar system until your beloved 'blogger' pointed it out to you.****. You didn't even know about the solar system until your beloved 'blogger' pointed it out to you. Sherlock, if I was well known-**** like the prime minister and all the others in the limelight, I'd never get anything done. There are about 13 people on this planet that I know I exist- let alone what I actually do- playing a minor role in the British Government. And speaking of which, I don't' appreciate you telling John that I AM the British Government. That could put his- and your- life in danger. **

So childish, Mycroft...  
>If you don't think I can manipulate people, then that's your problem; I'm sure I could do fine in life without having manipulating people, anyway.<br>The Solar System is NOT important! So what if... The sun revolves around the Earth….or whatever it does; to me, I need not know it!

I guess we have one thing in common: our jobs come first. I don't care about anything you do in you important job, Mycroft, as long as you keep me and John out of it. You practically 'are' the British government anyways, and I'm sure John could look after himself were anything to happen; I've got faith in him.

Don't worry about me. I can get in- and out- of trouble without your help!

**hmm... I sincerely doubt that, little brother, but whatever keeps you and that pet of yours happy.**

He's not my pet, Mycroft! Just because he's a but stupid and he lives with me doesn't mean he's my pet.  
>I've gotten out of many sticky situations, my dear brother, and I'm sure one day I will be out of my depth, but that day is certainly a long way away...<p>

**if you're sure you'll be out of your depth in the foreseeable future, then why is he still around? And yes, he's your pet. He's a very good pet, I'll give you that, but he's a pet nevertheless. Just like Anthea**

You can call John my pet all you want, but I never say he is.  
>I'll only be out of my depth when I'm about 80; that is a long way away from now, brother.<br>There's something about Anthea I don't like.

**yes, I know that, brother mine, and neither do I like Anthea. Which is why she's dosed up with that memory pill that torchwood are so fond of using.**

Is she? I might need to borrow a pill for John, when the time comes... Did Torchwood give you them or did you 'Borrow' them?

**yes, she is, and it works very effectively. For some people, however, it doesn't work. No, brother dearest, it did not simply ask for some. There is a mission file about it, because it was a mission and nothing interesting was going on at that point**

Sounds as boring as ever. Well, I think John's stupid enough for the pill to work... Oh, that's not fair, practically everyone is.  
>Sorry, brother of mine, I can't chat now, Lestrade wants me on a case, finally! I shall chat to you in a few hours.<p>

**hmm, I doubt that, brother dearest. John Watson is an 'idiot', as you say, granted, but neither is he stupid. ****  
><strong>**Yes, it seems as though you are at his beck and call. Has the pleasant Detective Inspector got a pet?****  
><strong>**well, au revoir for now, I suppose**

I suppose you're right, John is an idiot, but he's not stupid. Like Anderson... He's so stupid! I'd love to use one of those pills on him just to play around with his head...  
>I am no body's pet! Not Lestrade's, not Mrs. Hudson, not the Woman's and not John's! You know how bored I get without a case, as soon as Lestrade texts me about one, I'm off as fast as I can.<p>

I solved it in two hours; it was easy for me. It was the Shop Keeper. He was being threatened by one of his staff to reveal he was having an affair on his wife, (Which, if anyone knew about, would destroy his business and reputation), so the shop keeper followed the victim to the club one night and spiked is drink with an almost undetectable poison.  
>He got it from a friend who owes him a favour and works in the CIA - You might want to check for a mole in there by the way.<br>12 hours later, the victim was shaving and as the poison took place, he stared getting woozy and cut himself by accident and passed out in his own bathroom, making it look liked he died from loss of blood... Too Easy. It was the Shop Keeper. He was being threatened by one of his staff to reveal he was having an affair on his wife, (Which, if anyone knew about, would destroy his business and reputation), so the shop keeper followed the victim to the club one night and spiked is drink with an almost undetectable poison.

He got it from a friend who owes him a favour and works in the CIA - You might want to check for a mole in there by the way.

12 hours later, the victim was shaving and as the poison took place, he stared getting woozy and cut himself by accident and passed out in his own bathroom, making it look liked he died from loss of blood... Too Easy.

**yes, brother dearest, I usually am. Ah, yes, that man makes even that cousin of ours look remotely bright! **

**Yes, that sounds like a very interesting experiment... Tell me how it goes?**

**Well, whatever you say, Sherlock. Solving cases and showing off is just about as potent as those dreadful drugs you used to be hooked onto- they're going to kill you one of these days.**

**2 hours! You're getting slow. Maybe you should try a bit harder. Yes, that man was always so stupid..brilliant in the field, mind- but he could never keep his mouth shut. Ah well. I'm surprised you didn't pick up on him being MI5, but as I've already said, you're getting slow. **

**The CIA are America's problem, and quite frankly, they deserve to be embarrassed, to be frank, as they're still gloating about winning the war.**

Well, the Mole was from America originally and was transferred to the MI5 and I solved it in about 45 minutes, but I had some other things I needed to attend to; I don't think it's me getting slow, my dear brother...

Please, don't bring up the drugs, Mycroft. You know I was under severe depression at the time! Now, my work is my drug and I don't care if it kills me.

Oh, Anderson always gets on my nerves, he deserves a good whacking. Our poor cousin, as dull and boring as a lamp post.

Is the CIA still on about the War? They really should keep up with the times; Americans always are so full of themselves...

I see you've put on a few pounds, is the cake so hard to resist?...

**yes, well, I suppose you haven't gotten too slow.. but if you were on your game then you would've realised that I'd already delt with him. Yes, no drugs, of course not. **

**Yes, I've always wondered why Lestrade keeps him on, or maybe Sally has put in a good word about him. **

**Yes, Americans are all full of themselves, which is why I leave them to their own devices unless they're is something in it for us. **

**Again, Sherlock, not on top form- it's called a bullet proof vest.**

Talking about Donovan, she was recently over at Anderson's, she keeps scrubbing his floors judging by the state of her knees...

I've never been too fond of Americans, yet again, I'm never too fond of anyone.

I do sometimes take cocaine as you know, Mycroft, seeing as you have a CCTV outside my flat. But it's very rarely and you'd be pleased to know I've cut down recently.

Oh, but I'm sure underneath that vest is a lovely big tummy, isn't that right, my dear brother. Been stopping off at the cafe on the way to work?

**yes, I have a feeling that she has trouble differentiating between work and pleasure. No, brother dearest, you're not fond on anyone, or anything- except those detective cases you love so very much. **

**CCTV? No, brother dearest, I haven't put any up outside your flat, and even if I had I wouldn't be able to tell you that your experiment- with the eyeballs? The owner of the green eye was poisoned and the other two were shot, point blank range. I'm really not bothered about your drug habits, brother, and if I was then I'd give Lestrade a ring- he sorted you out once, he can do it again. **

**Yes. Of course there is, whatever you say. **

**Don't be absurd! I don't go to work, it comes to me. And I certainly wouldn't walk anywhere. I wouldn't want anyone to know I exist.**

**Yes, well anyway Sherlock, I've got a war to stop, so toodlepip.**

well, this came up with me and a good friend of mine- Zoe-Renea, basically role playing sherlock and mycroft. I'm Mycroft, and Zoe's Sherlock ;)

btw, this started as a facebook convo, so please mind the mistakes ;)  
>ah yes, and don't fporget to review!<p> 


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